Trusting your enemy
Sometimes you are put in uncomfortable positions. Situations happen and all you wish you could do is run. But let's face it, this is not a Hollywood movie, you are stuck in your reality.
To be stuck in a situation. To be in a situation-ship, I call it. You're really not relating but there is enough commonality to create a bond. Do you know what that feels like? To be stuck is like when someone plays a bad joke on you. You end up being too embarrassed to go out and face the very people who humiliated you. It is like trying to climb out of an entanglement; with every knot you untie, two more are formed. It is like lying on your bed, tears flowing uncontrollably, and all you can think to do is catch each breathe and try to save it. To be stuck, worst of all with your enemy. With someone who hates you with every fiber of their being. To be stuck with a person or a situation that alters your view of life. No body wants to be stuck. Yet we are all Stuck.
One is stuck in a loveless marriage. Another is stuck in an unfulfilling dead end job. She is stuck raising her siblings because her parents passed on while they were too young to fend for themselves. He is stuck trying to fill his father's shoes. It doesn't really matter that, he doesn't want to take over the family's business, he has to fulfill his father's last dying wish.
You could be stuck trying to do a noble thing. You could be stuck in bitterness and unforgiveness. You could be stuck because you are paying for old childhood mistakes.
Oh... how I wish I could turn back the hand of time. We've all whispered these words, whether in prayer or in a heated moment.
The various feelings of anger and frustration does not take away from the fact that, life goes on. And those three words are not just a line from a rap song.
If you don't alert yourself to the deep rooted issues, life can really pass you by. You'll blink for a minute and 30 years have gone by. We all have enemies in our lives; an ex-lover, failed business deal, prodigal child or a traffic fine. Whatever your enemy is... it creates a storm of mixed emotions within you. If not scaffold-ed in time, you could breed a personality, lifestyle and mental health you did not intend on.
There are no short cuts. To uproot a plant effectively, you can't just trim the leaves. You have to target it at the root. Cut it down from the roots, destroying any possibility of it re-emerging again.
Some situations and people you can walk away from and never see them again. In that case, the only thing you'd have to deal with is the memories and the emotions associated with them. But what happens when your enemy is tied to your destiny. When the only way forward is to trust the purpose of your enemy.
I have found that the best thing to do is to; acknowledge your enemy's presence. Acknowledge the different facets in roles your enemy has played. Acknowledge your part in errors you've made. Forgive yourself. Forgive your enemy. And work towards thinking good thoughts about them. Treating them like its the first time you've met them and they've never done you wrong.
Enemies are crucial for your growth and development. If they were never there, you wouldn't know how strong you are. You wouldn't know to what extent, can your capacity to handle trauma or tragedy, be stretched.
I look at my enemy and just imagine it was my biggest fear. Once they've done what they've done. Once its happened. And I survive. That's it. Healing from it allows me to become immune to it. It can't hurt me anymore. I have overcome it and I have conquered it. I can trust my enemy to take me to new heights of strength, love, forgiveness and peace. I can live to my full potential, in the presence of my enemy, and not be shaken or threatened. My enemy is my blessing in disguise. I can make a toast to my enemy and thank it for partnering in my growth and development. I couldn't have done it without it.
