What's your gift wrapper?
Two people’s eyes lock, brain chemicals become activated and in less than a second they’ve concluded that they are attracted to each other. The initial attraction is based on physical appearance and material possessions. You like what you see and so you decide that you want it, so you have it. Just like opening a bad Christmas gift, as soon as you find out what’s inside the gift wrapper, you want to pass it on, re-turn and exchange for cash or throw it away. It’s no different with relationships, the physical appearance and material possessions are a fancy decorated gift wrapper of a person. The real gift which is what you actually get to enjoy, or not enjoy depending on which side of the fence you are sitting, is the person’s personality and character.
Anyone can change their appearance and turn from rag to fabulous in minutes. So if physical appearance is something that can be changed with less effort, then why focus all your energy in finding a partner who looks right on the outside? The truth is when you decide to be in a relationship with someone, you are dating their personality and character. The decisions that person makes which become habits and ultimately a lifestyle they lead, is influenced by their values and believes. A person’s mindset and behaviour is very difficult to change, some may even argue that it is impossible to change. Although it is very difficult to change, it is the most crucial part of a relationship. In fact when you are looking to get into a relationship, you should be looking for the most attractive personality and character. The attractiveness of a person is measured in how selfless they live out their love in a relationship.
Even if you won’t admit it out loud to your hash tag trendy friends, deep within your heart you know that you want to be loved, accepted and appreciated. You want him to sit down with you in a quite picnic like setting, stare deep into your eyes and listen to every word, sigh, breath and giggles you make. You want him to notice every gesture and mimic as he subconciously affirms that here is with you. He appreciates and cares very deeply about you. You want him to hold your hand when you cross the street, not because you are incapable of crossing the street by yourself. But because the gentle touch of his hand communicates that he loves you and will do anything to protect you. You are safe as long as he’s there near you.
Doesn’t it make more sense to pursue a partner whose personality and character is most attractive for you? People whose values and believes are the same as yours. That way when you finally get to open you’re oddly or fancy decorated gift wrapper, you’ll be delightfully surprised. You’ll enjoy and love your gift so much that you won’t want to share it with anyone. When a person is worth keeping all to yourself then you know you are in for a lifetime adventure of closeness, fondness and genuine deep companionship. Now isn’t that worth so much more than a bad Christmas gift? Not everything that shines and glistens is real diamond. You take time to discover a real germ, there are always obstacles. It’s never sunshine and roses. You only see the beauty of the rainbow once the storm has passed.
